Sunday, March 31, 2013

Good Hope

I was seriously considering skipping this month's blog post. I probably would have if not for Jenna's recent comment. I've never been good at letting anyone down, especially myself, but if my little sister who's spending the semester in lovely and exciting Istanbul can still make time to visit my blog, then I can at least take a few minutes to write something.

So. I am exhausted. Last night, for some mysterious reason, Mallory woke up five times. I dreamed we were swimming off the Cape of Good Hope, warm and carefree. Sometimes I look back on my life before being a mother and I marvel at all the time and freedom I had and wonder how I could have taken a second of it for granted.

March has been a whirlwind of a month. I took on extra writing assignments for the Bohemian, I threw Mallory a birthday party, I raised my voice at the douche after class one day, I saw my therapist again after a long hiatus, I read a so-bad-I-love-it crime novel, I graded mid-terms, I ran my feet into blisters and fungus (gross, I know), I made a failed banana cream pie which turned into a yellow runny mess (also gross, though it tasted okay).

I did too many things in a rushed and hurried manner, stalking minutes like prey. I even made lemon frosting with one hand while holding Mallory with the other, because M was going to be home soon and I really wanted his cake to be finished when he walked in the door, and Mallory would not have it.

I'd been looking forward to dying Easter eggs today. Instead I used nine eggs (nine!) making brunch and coconut cake, which is disappearing fast. It's been raining off and on, harder than it has in weeks. The just-planted garden looks beautiful. The snapdragons are popping open.

Mallory is in bed after another day of walking, climbing, reorganizing the kitchen cabinets, and practicing her new word, "wow." Tonight she lifted up my shirt and blew a raspberry on my tummy the way I've done to her for a year now. M and I will snuggle on the couch and watch a little TV together and then head to bed soon ourselves, praying for some blissful, uninterrupted sleep.