Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween

So, what's the best thing about teaching at a small, private school nestled in the Redwoods? Other than the fact that I have complete academic freedom and get to fly on the rope swing during my free periods, I get to celebrate Halloween---that most joyous of kid's holidays---like a kid. Each year I dress as one of the students; this year I chose Nate, a fifteen year old punk rocking mischief-maker. The kids loved seeing me, their 30 year old English teacher, dressed in his skinny plaid pants and Misfits t-shirt. We dunked apples into hot caramel, carved punkins, made cookies, and, the crown jewel of the day, had a poetry contest out on the sun-splashed deck. Here is my entry, co-written with my boyfriend, who also happens to teach with me:

Welcome to Nonesuch

Just take a look around, and you'll quickly see,
whatever you're afraid of you shouldn't be

Yes, there are freaks and geeks galore
but I can assure you you'll never be bored

No, that's not big-foot, it's just Victor you see
his padlock is missing so his feet roam free

Oh him--- that's just Nate, he might look mean,
but he only really rages against the Christine

And no that's not the love child of Hugh Hefner and Michael Jackson,
it's Elijah, in a bathrobe, and he'll strip if you ask him

And this little blonde one is smart as a whip
but don't be surprised if Gabe gives you some lip

When it comes to the right word Jora's never stuck
so if you need a verb or an adjective how about FUCK

And Cami's got lots of poetry inside her
but don't be surprised if she kisses a spider

And--no Mindless Self Indulgence there
just a wise cracking Cody who keeps sprouting hair

And don't be fooled by her soft spoken style
Maya's grades show who goes the extra mile

And just because you can't see her eyes doesn't mean she's not there
there's much more to Shara than her bangs and curly hair

And that being over there, on the couch, please don't scream,
it's not a giant multi-limbed monster here to haunt your dreams,

It's just our resident cuddle puddle,

See--there's Luna's new shoes and Amber's jet black hair--
and, wait, is that Brogan poking out of there?
be careful--- get too close and you may fall into the lair

And that one over there who seems to fear none
he used to be Aaron but now he's Kiernan

And when you need some puffy paint or some positivity
follow the sound of the didgeridoo to Mike B's wisdom tree

One Rowan good, two Rowans better
hope you have time to listen forever

And you've met the one who keeps the Barr raised
being a bad-ass is her latest craze

And sometimes two visions will suddenly appear
it's just Angel and Andrea who aren't always here

And no, it's not Barney's daughter on the loose
Wynn has purple hair, purple skirts, even purple boots

So you just talked to Skyler and he showed you the way
but please be patient he has much more to say

A lot of girls think that Nico's caliente
but then he went to Earthdance and became excremente

If you haven't heard her speak yet give her a chance
there's a lot more to Madeline than her sweet subtle glance

Marisa just might kiss ya if you're cute enough and sweet
especially if you don't got no shoes upon your feet

If you hear the sounds of guitar strings cracklin'
its probably just the newest single released by our Jaclyn

And here's our newest student whose come to Nonesuch School
we sure hope that Lucas isn't too cool for rules

You've probably noticed all the sweetness he's bequeathin'
cause there aint no reason to not be loving Ethan

And if our school appears to be somewhat of a mess
as these sloppily written lines surely attest

Don’t blame Nonesuch School:
blame Michael and blame Jess!